I stumbled upon a journal entry of mine from 4 years ago. I was struggling with feeling restless in my creative journey, making me feel hopeless and without purpose. I remember crying on the living room couch while writing in my journal because I had just moved thousands of miles away from my family, and I felt utterly lost and alone. My photography business was failing, and I was too ashamed and embarrassed to admit it or ask for help. I invested all my resources into this business, and to walk away meant all that was a waste. I felt a tremendous weight on my heart and shoulders, and in that moment, all I wanted to do was fall asleep and never wake up.
Have you been there before? Where you feel like a complete embarrassment to yourself and your family? Where you feel like no matter what, you will never be good at anything? It's a tough place to be. I know, because I've been there before.
Today I am thankful that I had my faith to get me through that season of life. I am grateful that God gave me the strength to wake up every morning and take one (sometimes tiny) step forward. The truth is, some days I didn't take any steps at all; I just laid in bed all day crying. Sometimes that OK. Sometimes we need to give ourselves grace when crying is all we have the strength to do. I am thankful that I am here today able to encourage you if you feel yourself in this exact spot I was in 4 years ago.
Had I never pushed myself to make even the smallest baby step when I felt like I couldn't, my story wouldn't have led me here. I am still on this creative journey and will be for the rest of my life. I am genuinely thankful, however, that failure didn't keep me from pursuing different dreams. I am grateful that I was able to keep dreaming. To envision what life could be once I found my true passion in life.
Thank you to everyone who has ridden the waves of this journey with me. We've been on an epic ride together, and I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for being the encouragement I needed when I couldn't see the forest through the trees. Thank you for standing by my side when I experimented with several different creative adventures before finding painting.
Lastly, thank you to everyone who has supported my art so far. I have so much to look forward to, and I can't wait to share the journey with you.